By day, I am a technology lawyer. I deal with cutting-edge communication systems, information processes and the movement of data. The nature of the craft also requires me to work with others to negotiate conflicts and disputes. Through those two functions I have become profoundly interested in what technology does to the way people relate to one another.

I am by no means a Luddite. Through the wonders of technology I was able to go back to the University of Pennsylvania to earn my masters, while still working at home in North Carolina. From my laptop I am also able to keep close contact with friends in India and Israel and Norway who would otherwise be inaccessible to me.

But something significant is lost when we no longer have to look one another in the eye. I have seen my teenager receive both insults and apologies electronically from someone he thought was his friend, when they could have spoken face-to-face that same day.

The same technology that so wonderfully places the world right at our feet, tends to push aside other aspects of human interactions - the facial expressions, the tone of voice, a well-timed touch on the shoulder. Strengths of humanity such as kindness, generosity and compassion require a certain orientation of empathy between the self and the other. Likewise, our strengths of fairness, citizenship and loyalty, all depend upon the social bonds we form to groups and to the broader community.

How can our children develop these sort of empathic bonds with others if their interactions are with a screen rather than real-life, flesh-and-blood people? At an age when my son needs to be learning how to connect with others and how to navigate the difficult moments that do occur in human relations, technology adds still more hurdles.

Photographer Yann Arthus-Bertrand had an idea. While stranded in Mali in the 1980’s, Arthus-Bertrand spent an evening listening to another man’s life story. It was during a drought and the poverty was severe. But the fears, dreams and memories offered were not a complaint. They were not a request for anything. Rather, what was shared was a connection between two small people, next to a fire, from vastly different places, but with worlds in common.

Since then, Arthus-Bertrand has recorded interviews with 6000 people from 65 countries, many of which can be found on the website 6 Billion Others. Each person tells his or her earliest memories, dreams, and what they believe happens after they die. They talk about the last time they cried, and what they learned from their parents. The aim, according to the website, is to create a “sensitive and human portrait of the earth’s inhabitants.”

Of course, when visiting the site, the communication is only one way, and your interaction is with a screen. Yet, there is an honesty and an intimacy there that connects and elevates. The interviews also offer a chance for increased understanding and empathy. Peterson and Seligman (2004) point out that empathy is biased toward those who are similar to the self. At first blush, many of the people interviewed do not appear to be like me. Kole, an Ethiopian herdsman, speaks with pride and joy about his goats. My children giggled when they first saw Maremba, from Papua New Guinea with his bone through his nose. Yet what is communicated so honestly are the ways in which we all are the same. Kole taught me about gratitude and the ability to rejoice in simple things. When Maremba spoke about his father, I found that I too had to fight off tears.

The 6 Billion Others exhibition will be on display at the Grand Palais in Paris from January 10, 2009 until Feburary 12, 2009. Until then, enjoy . . .

References:

Peterson, C. and Seligman, M.E.P. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook of classification. New York: Oxford University Press.

Images are drawn from the 6 Billion Others site.

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Louis J. Alloro, M.Ed., MAPP consults with schools and communities to create positive cultures using an innovative and holistic approach called Social-Emotional Leadership. He also collaborates with MAPP colleagues at Flourishing Schools to offer workshops and consulting services that integrate best practices in education with cutting edge Positive Psychology research. Louis also coaches individuals interested in becoming their best selves. Louis writes on the 29th of each month and his prior articles are here.

With the advent of the holiday season, many of us prepare to celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa—holidays that traditionally involve the giving of gifts to the ones we love.

But in the throes of this recession, many of us are strapped for cash. The contagious nature of the mistrust in the markets is making many of us perpetually anxious. With that stress – on top of the stress that comes from finding the perfect gifts – I wonder why depression is at an all time high. What if we consider alternative ways to show the ones we love that we love them this year? That’s what it’s all about, anyway, right?

Let’s make this December a creative challenge: an opportunity to invent new rituals for being with family and friends.

Gifts of Dialogue

It is important to think about our underlying belief systems that hold these gift-giving traditions alive. Conversations about values and strengths can be very generative for groups of people, like families. Peterson and Seligman’s VIA-IS can be a tool to spark such discussion: what strengths do we most call on when giving gifts?

Dawn Cooperrider, Dolem Jen Hetzel Silbert, and Ada Jo Mann recently published a book called Positive Family Dynamics. In it, they argue that “appreciative inquiry questions bring out the best in families” – the cornerstone of society. Some questions we might ask are:

Why do we give gifts?
What do they symbolize?
What do we as a family symbolize?
What do we as a group value?

How can we take what we value and create customs and traditions that are in line with those values? How can we open ourselves to ideas from traditions other than our own – like those from the tradition of positive psychology, for example?

Gifts of Gratitude

One such suggestion comes from Bob Emmon’s research on Gratitude Letters – the gifts that keep on giving. Writing a gratitude letter requires we tap into our hearts to find words that show our love for another person – words that express the strength we see in someone else.

Not a good writer? How about writing a poem? Many of the ones we read in high school, you could have written too. Remember, short lines, and they don’t have to rhyme. It’s about communicating how you feel.

Another version of the gratitude letter can be creating an artistic collage, a CD or playlist to give as gifts to our loved ones. With whatever medium, the way this gift comes full-circle is in how it is presented. Reading the letter aloud to the recipient or listening to the playlist together gives both the giver and receiver moments (past and present) to be thankful for. This is part of what Fred Bryant shows is so important about savoring.

Gifts of Time

Another idea is to give the gift of time. Spending time together—as a family—to elicit authentic positive emotion builds and strengthens what Jonathan Haidt calls “the hive.” Playing games can “broaden and build” collective efficacy and hope—invaluable gifts, especially during this time of despair. There’s also research to show that singing and dancing together has many generative benefits. Anyone up for caroling this year?

Or, perhaps you and your family can give your collective time for a worthy cause. Bridget Grenville-Cleave has written a lovely synopsis of the benefits of giving back. There are plenty of ways to find opportunities in your own back yard. Friends of mine have been volunteering to call bingo at a senior center and leave each week feeling rejuvenated and even elated. They found this opportunity at www.volunteermatch.com.

Thinking Outside the Box

One activity I remember fondly from my childhood was creating a manger for baby Jesus in preparation of Christmas. My mom cut yellow strips of construction paper and laid them next to an empty basket. Each time we did a good deed during the Christmas season, we wrote it on the strip and laid it in the basket. Come Christmas Eve, that basket was full of “hay” and we would read all of the intentional good things we had done that past month to “pay it forward.” I’ll never forget that.

Maybe I’ll suggest my family do that again this year. Of course, it will be more challenging considering we’re all grown and live separately from one another. But I’m sure we can create a virtual manger online somewhere to make this possible. It’s time to think outside the box.

Another trick is in being what Isaac Prilleltensky calls a “gracious host.” We need to invite our families and friends into this possibility of an abundant and stress-free holiday season. Find the people in your spheres of influence who see the value in this opportunity and get them on board right away. How can we use this seemingly “bad” time to find ways to actually contribute to our well-being – ways that spending money can never truly show anyhow?

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

“Black Friday” traditionally marks the official kickoff to the holiday shopping season. The National Retail Federation projects holiday shopping spending this year to amount to $470.4 billion, with the three-day holiday weekend accounting for roughly 10 percent of total holiday sales. During this time, retailers will tout their deals in an effort to capture consumers’ attention, and many people will bite the bait and expend their limited mental energy and cash on stressful shopping sprees. Individual shoppers are expected to spend an average of $832.36 this year on holiday-related gifts.

With an estimated 128 million shoppers hitting the stores in the U.S. this weekend, the hustle and bustle that many people experience this time of year seems almost inevitable.  Coupled with the added stress of a struggling economy, and unlimited choice of options, holiday shopping is likely to take a physical and mental toll on many consumers nationwide.

Cash-strapped and Overstressed?

University of Swarthmore professor and psychologist Barry Schwartz is here to help. Author of the best-seller The Paradox of Choice, Dr. Schwartz sheds light on how the concept of choice in a society with limitless options is a double-edged sword. While choice is usually perceived as something good, “too many choices paralyze us rather than liberate us,” remarks Schwartz. While autonomy and freedom are qualities essential to happiness, sometimes having to make so many decisions actually decreases our happiness by adding undo stress.

How Do I Make Gift Choices?

Too many choices “induce us to make poor decisions, choosing on the basis of what is easiest to evaluate and not what is most important to evaluate,” exclaims Schwartz. “Even when we overcome paralysis and manage to choose well, we are less satisfied with what we’ve chosen if the set is large than if the set is small.  We may do better choosing from a large set, but we will feel worse,” continues Schwartz.

The good news is that through information and training we can help make better choices about the things that matter. According to Dr. Schwartz, what matters most is “how we feel about the decisions we make,” not necessarily the decision itself.  And, what counts when we assess the quality of the decision is our subjective, not objective, experience.  Armed with this knowledge, Schwartz recommends people spend more time on making choices about the things that matter most in their lives and transition from “only the best will do” to becoming satisfied with “good enough” when it comes to non-critical decisions like holiday shopping.

Dr. Schwartz offers some simple tips on how we can enjoy the holiday season this year without blowing our stack – and our cash! For example, we can integrate a rule into our holiday shopping to only visit two stores when choosing gifts rather than running ourselves ragged going to a dozen stores searching for that perfect gift. These a priori decisions will preserve mental energy to be used on other things in life that really matter like spending time with loved ones. Schwartz provides additional tips and concepts to consider in our interview below on how we can cut down on the mental anguish surrounding the holiday rush by making better shopping decisions while decreasing spending too. Less stress and more cash in our pockets? What more can we ask?

Suzie: Based on your research, what is one thing consumers can do to decrease their holiday shopping stress this year? In MAPP, you mentioned only going to two stores, what is another tip?

Barry: Here are two tips: 1.) Choose when to choose.  Delegate some decisions to others.  Ask a friend or a relative what digital camera to buy, and then just buy it. 2.) Understand that “good enough” is good enough.  Don’t try to find the best X or Y.  Figure out what you care about, and what your standards are, and then just choose the first thing that meets those standards.

Suzie: You mentioned in your book the importance of considering the concepts of “anchoring” and “framing” when determining a reasonable price for gifts. Can you briefly explain these concepts and how consumers can apply these concepts to their holiday shopping to save money?

Barry: Anchoring refers to the fact that we always evaluate things in comparison to other things.  Those other things provide the anchors for judgment.  If you see a $5000 backyard grill, then the $2000 one will look like a good buy.  Framing is similar; decisions are made in a context or frame.  Anchoring and framing together mean that we are never judging products or experiences “on their own merits.”  Judgments are always comparative. When you appreciate the power of anchors and frames, you will realize that people who are trying to sell you things are using these tools to make what they offer more attractive (whether they know it or not).  So you can take control, by looking at the existing anchors and frames, and trying to negate them as you assess possible purchases.  Or, you can impose your own anchors and frames (e.g., “what else could I do with $2000 aside from buying a backyard grill?”).

Suzie: Many people struggle to find that perfect gift… Barry, in your book you tell us to accept “good enough”… What kind of personality is best suited to not get stressed out during the holidays?

Barry: A satisficer is someone who is looking for “good enough.”  A maximizer is looking for the best.  Our research suggests that although maximizers may do better than satisficers, they feel worse about how they did.  We are all satisficers about some things, so the trick is to use techniques we already have in other areas of life…

People who are satisficers, who focus on what is good in a decision (gratitude) rather than on what is disappointing, and who appreciate that holidays are about people, not things, will treat the holidays as the joyous occasions they are meant to be rather than as burdens that must be overcome.  Especially in these perilous economic times, people should think about spending time, not money.

Images: crowd, mall, mall2 , aisles

Schwartz, B. (2004). The Paradox of Choice:  Why More Is Less. New York:  Ecco.

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Happy Thanksgiving from PPND!

And with big thanks to you: the reader and the commenter, the positive psychology researcher and practitioner, the questioner and the question-answerer.  Thank you!

~ Us

*  *  *

See Gratitude in context in the Positive Emotions image map, and find more in-depth thoughts on gratitude in the Gratitude Image Map article.

Gratitude thoughts:

• Thanksgiving as Gratitude Day.
• On the benefits of family and holiday rituals.
• Huddling together during Thanksgiving.
• Gratitude for what you do have.
• Gratitude for the bad things that are avoided.
• Benefits of love, gratitude, and kindness may become even stronger in the limbic system during difficult times.
• “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.”  If you’re proud of someone and you know it, praise their effort.
• Gratitude and its energy and spiritual energy.
• Gratitude helps you live longer - one of the four ingredients of the aging Happy-Well.
• A 7-year-old talks about the power of “Three Good Things” every night.

Our best!
Image.

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Forgive my shorter than normal posting; I know that regular readers of Positive Psychology News Daily are used to having far more substantial material to get their teeth into than this particular piece appears to deliver  - but all will become clear in a moment.

There’s less than six weeks to go before the 1^st Cohort finishes the first-ever European MSc in Applied Positive Psychology at the University of East London, UK, under the inspirational leadership of Dr Ilona Boniwell. It’s been an interesting journey. And yes, I say that with typical British understatement.  At the start, in February 07, I expected that the “destination” would reveal itself at some point along the way, and that as a result I would have the option of mapping out (no pun intended) my second, or possibly third, career; this, I now realize, was a tad naive.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel?

Here we are, with the final dissertation deadline in sight, and I’m still questioning:  What did I do all this for? And where am I going with it? Perhaps this is a normal reaction to being neck-deep in statistics and interview transcriptions, grappling with the finer points of SPSS and Quantitative Analysis. And yes, I do regret opting to do mixed methods research…[I feel like a miner, down in the dark, chipping away at the rock face, not knowing whether what I find will be valuable, hoping it will be worth hauling all that way back to surface…This particular research project has literally taken over my life for the past year. But that’s another story…]. In short, perhaps my current unease with the “meaning and purpose” of Positive Psychology is pretty normal for this stage in the game. Maybe some of you Penn MAPP graduates can reassure me!

So it was with huge relief that I stumbled over this gargantuan (12Mb/317 pages) , multi-disciplinary report “Mental Capital and Well-Being: Making the most of ourselves in the 21^st century” from the Government Office for Science, London, published October 22 2008. Quite how anything this substantial managed to slip under our radar is anyone’s guess. Well, no, actually, it’s quite likely that on that particular day last month you were bailing out the banks, trying to ward off a global recession and focussed 24/7 on the presidential election instead…and I was only waist-deep in statistics…

The Future for Positive Psychology

I’m not going to try to review this report (it does that pretty well itself in the Executive Summary, a mere 52 pages), other than to say it’s truly comprehensive, referencing all aspects of psychological well-being, not just from cradle to grave, or individual v societal v environmental, but it also includes the basic biological building blocks, nutrition, sleep and exercise, which seem to be given only a token mention in most Positive Psychology material I’ve read. The key message of Mental Capital and Well-Being is stated as follows:

“…if we are to prosper and thrive in our changing society and in an increasingly interconnected and competitive world, both our mental and material resources will be vital. Encouraging and enabling everyone to realise their potential throughout their lives will be crucial for our future prosperity and wellbeing”.

Of particular importance for students, practitioners and policy-makers alike, I think, are the Systems Maps, which include illustrations of

i)             Mental capital through life

ii)            Conceptual overview of mental health

iii)           Well-being at work

These are the first systems views of psychological well-being that I have seen. They capture so much insight on just one page each - I’m going to enlarge them and stick them on my office wall. And if you turn to Appendix B (pp283-288) you’ll find three pretty scary ‘Future Scenarios’, which outline the challenges for mental capital and well-being that we might be grappling with in 2020…

Turning Negatives into Positives

Don’t be put off by the fact that this report is a British perspective; although the work on which the report is based references many recent or current political initiatives in the UK, over 400 leading experts and stakeholders from countries across the world were involved in the project, so I would suggest that the vast majority of the theory behind the work is relevant to other countries too.

So I’d encourage you to stop whatever else you’re currently doing, and take a quick look now. It may help put things in perspective (the Systems Maps did for me), and potentially may provide you with your Positive Psychology ‘destination’, whatever that might be.

And now, feeling much more motivated, I’ll get back to those stats…

References:

Foresight Mental Capital and Wellbeing Project (2008), Final Project Report. The Government Office for Science, London.

Images:

1)    amanky

2)    kodame (home)

3)    dailyinvention

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Is That Me, Excited about My Country?

On the night of the presidential election, I lounged and chatted on a cozy couch with friends in a Philadelphia apartment near the University of Pennsylvania as the state-by-state results were reported. We pondered the implications of the Harold Zullow and Martin Seligman study that linked winning presidential elections to optimism. Within moments of the official announcement of Barack Obama’s victory, the street outside – a main campus artery – was overcome by a crowd of supporters. There were hundreds of people joyfully and peacefully making their way down the middle of the road. We immediately gave up watching the television and stood by the window to take in the spectacle. “Where were they all going, and from where did they all come?” we pondered. We had no idea, but just watching them, hugging as they went, and listening to the buzz of energy audible through the closed window sent chills down my spine.

An hour or so later, I had to feed the meter where my car was parked, so I headed to street level, curious to get closer to the action. The crowds had thinned a bit, but as I walked down the sidewalk, two young men whom I assume were local college students, ran down the street carrying a huge American flag over their heads. It was the kind of sight one would expect to see at an animated World Cup match featuring fan-favorite South American super-teams, not here in the United States and never for something so dull as an election. The best part was that they did not seem to be celebrating a victory over something or someone, but rather an unadulterated pride in their country. They smiled unabashedly to everyone they passed, and I noticed another young woman watching them, who then looked at me and smiled. I felt a sudden rush of feeling connected and warm to everyone around me. These flag-bearing students were creating a wave of positive emotions that spread quickly among the nearby pedestrians. It is an image I will never forget.

I want to be clear: this was not an Obama thing, and this was not a McCain thing. This was a human thing. And it is a phenomenon that should be of great interest to positive psychology. Although one can assume most of the people experiencing joy that night had voted on the Democratic ticket earlier that day, the experience I had on the streets of Philadelphia had very little to do with party platforms and candidate preferences. There was simply an air of happiness and it spread like wildfire among people, and did so intensely. Barbara Frederickson recently wrote an op-ed relating the post-election emotional highs to her Broaden-and-Build Theory of positive emotions, but I think there was more involved that night than positive emotions. There was a profound sense of human connection. But what does positive psychology have to say about such moments of subjectively meaningful human connection?

What is the Human Connection?

In Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman originally divided positive psychology into the study of three distinct domains: positive emotion, engagement or flow, and meaning. He defines the third domain, meaning, as a connection to something larger than the self, which encompasses many types of self-transcendence but certainly includes moments of deep human connection. In an attempt to describe the overly social tendencies of humans, Jonathan Haidt in The Happiness Hypothesis likens human groups in our evolutionary history to hives, where strong interpersonal bonds and commitment to other people allowed us to survive trying adversity. In fact, there exists an entire sub-theory of evolution known as multi-level selection theory that claims human evolution operated not only on the traditional Darwinian level of individual fitness but also on the level of group fitness. According to these theorists, human groups that possessed traits allowing them to work and bond together more than others would outlast groups lacking those traits (see David Sloan Wilson’s Evolution for Everyone).

As an example, let’s consider two primal human tribes living on nearby plains in northern Africa. We’ll call them the Jabi and the Kulu. The Jabi tribe has consistently developed individuals with extraordinary hunting expertise by taking young boys out to hunt for long excursions at an early age. The Kulu tribe, on the other hand, spends less time training their boys to hunt but devotes more time to building community bonds of love, affection, and loyalty. The Jabi consists of more evolutionarily-advantaged individuals, who typically outlast less skilled individuals like the Kulu in traditional evolutionary models. Imagine, however, that the plains undergo a serious drought and the safety of each tribe is jeopardized by a sudden fire. Each tribe has one member who had been out retrieving water by the river and returns to find his tribesman encircled by flames. These tribesman have an opportunity to put their lives at serious risk to rescue all the others. The Kulu tribesman, having developed stronger bonds for his clan, is more likely to take the risk and rescue his tribe, even if it means risking his own life. Modern humans evolved from tribes that increasingly resembled the Kulu.

Emotions Synchronized and a Greater Community

In our evolutionary history, many mechanisms have supported the development of strong group bonding. McGill professor Daniel Levitin recently published a book about the evolutionary importance of music and dance in shaping the social human brain, in which he describes how inclusive and participatory music was in our developmental history. Ancient tribes training for battle against rivals created bonds similar to those of modern-day militaries. Describing his emotions during synchronized marching drills with hundreds of other recruits in the US Army’s basic training, William McNeill states:

“A sense of pervasive well-being is what I recall; more specifically, a strange sense of personal enlargement; a sort of swelling out, becoming bigger than life, thanks to participation in collective ritual” (p. 2, 1995).

Artistic expression, storytelling, and even religion—according to some theorists—all developed to encourage the strength of hive emotion bonds between people.

In modern society, we’ve come a long way from our tribal ancestors. Segways. iPhones. DVR. We can only imagine what’s next. But for all the ways that technology and our futuristic mores are connecting us with others, we’re also becoming a society of individuals. We can pass hundreds of people on our way to work and acknowledge none of them. We praise those who rise above the pack to achieve greatness, even if it is lonely at the top. And we often focus much more on our slight individual differences than our vast interpersonal commonalities. We have to go out of our way to connect with others and find meaning. The tragic events of September 11th brought us together for a while as we mourned together, but it was short-lived and the negative tone was far from ideal. It’s one of the reasons people volunteer for many months to partake in a political campaign in which they believe. The feeling of being a part of a greater community, of something larger than oneself, is irresistible. We thirst for it. It’s part of our very nature.

Sharing

Amidst the economy, the wars, and the environment, I believe the continual growth of meaningful human connections is one of the biggest challenges we currently face. And don’t expect it to be resolved in Washington. This is a grassroots campaign that will take place on your sidewalk, one genuine smile at a time.

A few days after the election, I called my mom. In addition to our typical talking points (Yes, mom, I’ll be driving home for Thanksgiving. Yes, I’ll watch out for all the crazy folks on the road…), we discussed the implications of an Obama-run White House and the significance that this election will have in history. She had her share of stories of friends from election night and the following morning. Some stories revolved around disappointment, but many followed the uplifting theme of human connection. I began to describe to her the flag bearers I saw in Philadelphia the previous night and the feelings that it evoked in me, and I began to cry. Because not only had I experienced a great moment of human connection the night before, but by sharing the story I was creating another one at that very instant with my mom, who I knew understood. For a moment we snapped out of our traditional mother-son roles and became complete equals, recognizing each other’s hopes and vulnerabilities, and sharing our emotional selves freely. I had never been prouder to be both an American and a son. It was human connection at its greatest.

Images: Philadelphia street 1, Philadelphia street 2, flag, multi-level selection theory, tribe, human connection

References

Fredrickson, B. L. (1998). What good are positive emotions? Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 300-319.

Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York: Basic Books.

Levitin, D. J. (2008). The World in Six Songs: How the Musical Brain Created Human Nature. New York: Dutton.

McNeill, W. H. (1995). Keeping together in time: Dance and drill in human history. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Authentic happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. New York: Free Press.

Wilson, D. S. (2007). Evolution for everyone: How Darwin’s theory can change the way we think about our lives. New York: Delacorte Press.

Zullow, H., & Seligman, M. E. P. (1990). Pessimistic rumination predicts defeat of presidential candidates, 1900 to 1984. Psychological Inquiry, 1, 52-61.

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Did you know that the average American puts on 10 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas?

And how much do you figure the average Holiday shopper has spent per year for the past 10 years?  $500?  $600?  Try $961!

This year may be different: according to a recent Gallup-Healthways Well-Being measure, the majority of Americans report they are struggling financially at the moment and almost 90% of people think their situation will continue to deteriorate. Our national savings rate has been steadily negative since 2005, a first since the Great Depression years.

Three Epidemics: Obesity, Inactivity, Indebtedness

If the financial news worries you, there is more to be thinking about. In America, over two thirds of adults and 17% of children and adolescents are overweight or obese, which costs over $117 billion annually to the country.  In addition, fewer than 20% of the population exercises sufficiently to experience the health benefits associated with physical activity.

Yes, we are observing what are now referred to as epidemics in obesity, inactivity, and indebtnesess. These concerning trends are all on the rise, and there is no sign that they are slowing down. While any single individual may not solve the economic crisis, there is a lot each one of us can do to reverse the obesity, exercise, and spending trends.

Victimology 

What if we first take accountability? We hear about credit card debt and obesity as if they were viruses we could inadvertently catch through no fault of our own. Few people have costly medical conditions that drive them deep into debt, or that make them much more prone to put on pounds.

For the majority of indebted people, it’s overspending that’s driving them into debt. Who spends the money? It is not some external uncontrollable force. It is the cardholder. Similarly, what if we take accountability for the weight we put on?  We have to eat 3,500 calories over our caloric expenditure to put on one pound of fat.  To gain those unwelcome ten pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that would be 35,000 calories inside 35 days - or, yes, you got that right, 1000 calories per day!  That’s a lot of food. If your arm is easily twisted by family members wanting you to “pound down” - literally - one more piece of pie, keep reading.  This article is for you.

Self-Regulation

Often dismissed as a no-glam strength, self-regulation may be the key to the ills here described. Problem is, it requires work and we tend to prefer the easy road.

But here’s the good news: Dr. Roy Baumeister  suggests that self-regulation is a core capacity with spill-over benefits. In other words, if you can self-regulate in one domain of your life, you can do so more easily in other domains.  Are you surprised that self-regulating in food may lead to better money management?

I have been working with a client for quite some time - we’ll call her Sarah.  Sarah was obese, sometimes moody, and admitted she spent too much. We decided to get her started with a regular exercise program. Here’s what happened.

While Sarah trains, she’s away from the temptation of spending. Physical activity also boosts self-esteem, so these sexy new Versace jeans and that overpriced Coach handbag no longer appear necessary anymore. Her new posture - shoulders back, tummy in, chest out - is working wonders for her.

Physical activity is not only calorie expenditure, but it also keeps Sarah away from food for some time. What’s more, since she trains regularly, her body needs higher quality energy, and so she is naturally drawn to healthier food choices. Better food, better mood (for more details on this topic, please see my previous article Food Influences Mood).

Today, Sarah is still overweight, but no longer obese.  Her spending patterns are much healthier and her credit cards are paid off. The best part? While exercising used to be an act of self-regulation, she now enjoys it and is convinced she will continue to be physically active all her life. (Need to get started?  Try reading my Top 10 Stimuli to Exercise Your Body.)

Sarah got herself out of the national statistics thanks to self regulation and exercise. This strategy may not solve all the world’s problems, but it certainly can address the bad news about obesity, inactivity, and indebtedness - and help us avoid making things worse over the Holidays.  It does require work, but the pay-off may be well worth it.

So how will you approach the Holidays this year?  Will you mentally equate the Holiday enjoyment with a food coma or with cozy conversation?  Will you need to undo the button of your jeans after your Thanksgiving dinner, or will you support the idea that self-regulation is sexier?

Images: Holiday Shopping Cart, Thanksgiving Dinner , Mother-Daughter Hug

Baumeister, R. F., Gailliot, M., DeWall, C. N., & Oaten, M. (2006). Self-regulation and personality: How interventions increase regulatory success, and how depletion moderates the effects of traits on behavior. Journal of personality, 74(6), 1773-1801.

Boyle, M.A. & Long, S. (2007). Personal Nutrition, Sixth Edition. Belmont, CA: Thomson Wadsworth.

Brooks, D.S. (2004). The Complete Book of Personal Training. Champaign, IL: Human Kinetix.

Fleming, J., Rath, T. and Conchie, B. (2008). Your Organization’s Survival Plan: When the going gets tough, high-performing companies make sure they double down their investments in people. Gallup Management Journal, Web Edition, November 13, 2008.

American Research Group (Nov 14, 2008). Shoppers Cut 2008 Christmas Spending Plans in Half from 2007. Retrieved November 22, 2008 from http://americanresearchgroup.com/holiday/

Ratey, J. (2008). Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. New York: Little, Brown and Company.

Seligman, M. (2008). Address at the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology Summit, October 2008.

Thaler, R. H. & Sunstein, C.R. (2008). Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth and Happiness. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

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I found this quote on a billboard in the City Hall Square in Copenhagen while on holiday there last month: Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity. Recognizing moments of fear or anxiety is simple enough but entering a state of curiosity is a real challenge for me, probably has something to do with my practical sensibility.

Recent research by Beerman and colleagues published in the Journal of Positive Psychology suggests that curiosity is one of five strengths closely related to life satisfaction (the other four are gratitude, optimism, zest and the ability to love and be loved). Although it ranked pretty high on my VIA profile (no. 8 on the Values-in-Action Strengths-Inventory), I don’t feel ownership with curiosity like I do with my top 5 strengths yet. So how might one go about developing this strength?

Christopher Peterson, the developer of the VIA method, suggests cultivating our strengths by first identifying and using them in new ways. Curiosity is defined in the VIA as:

Curiosity [interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience]:
“Taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topics fascinating; exploring and discovering.”

My A-ha Moment about Curiosity

I considered identifying fear- or anxiety-driven situations: that seemed like a good starting point.  But then I had an a-ha moment in a most unexpected occasion. It was over a dinner with my workshop participants talking about customer profiling in luxury cosmetics marketing. Based on my buying behavior, I am definitely not an early adopter. Early adopters like to explore and discover new things and experiences. I am exactly the opposite. The launch of a new product cannot lure me to the cosmetics counter. I don’t get tempted to try a new brand of my favorite food in the supermarket. I like to order the same food on the menu in restaurants.

The a-ha moment for me was that I do possess a high level of curiosity but only in specific domains. I am not curious about material things but am highly curious when people are concerned. I want to know other people’s stories and what makes a person tick. I love to travel to different countries and experience the locals’ lifestyles. I love googling and checking out new websites to explore what is cool and interesting out there.

Specific Curiosity Exercises 

This insight enables me to experiment with a more nuanced approach to incorporate more curiosity in my life especially in the here-and-now moments. Here are some positive psychology exercises I tried:

• Starting now, to always order a dish I’ve never tried before in restaurants.
• Pick a knowledge field I don’t normally go for. For example, my favorite website www.ted.com offers topics in many themes. Apart from my favorite themes, what makes us happy and how does the mind work, I make it a point to check out videos on themes I am least drawn to.
• Break my routine by varying the route to work or by sitting in a different wagon on the train.
• Try a new brand of food or toiletries when grocery shopping.
• Listen to different genres of music or to unfamiliar musicians.
• Hang around people who are high in curiosity and allow them to lead me into new experiences!

Once I intentionally suspended my preoccupation with being practical and resisted the tendency to ruminate on negative events, it became easier to treat the unknown as an adventure, which often leads to amazing encounters. Curiosity is still not a signature strength for me and it may never be, but the practice of cultivating curiosity has certainly exposed me to the richness of life, higher peaks and deeper valleys. Even when the outcome isn’t good, I will have wonderful experiences to add to my memory bank, and a good story to tell my friends!

References

Beermann, U., Park, N., Peterson, C., Ruch, W., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2007), Strengths of Character, Orientations to Happiness and Life Satisfaction, The Journal of Positive Psychology, 2(3): 149-156

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper Collins.

Dean, B (2004) Curious About Curiosity? http://viacharacter.org/VIAClassification/MoreOnStrengths/Curiosity/tabid/118/Default.aspx

Park, N., Peterson, C., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2004), Strengths of Character and Well-Being, Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, Vol. 23, No. 5, 2004, pp. 603-619

Peterson, C. (2007) ,  A Primer in Positive Psychology, Oxford University Press, Pages 158 – 160

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Nobel Prize-winning neuroscientist Eric Kandel predicts interdisciplinary research in neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy will lead to a new “science of mind” in this century, finally illuminating an integrated, biological understanding of the embodied mind. Kandel outlines five principles for this new science of mind:

1) mind and brain are inseparable;
2) all mental functions of the brain are carried out by specialized neural circuits;
3) each of these circuits are made up of nerve cells;
4) specific molecules generate signals within and between nerve cells; and
5) these signaling molecules have been conserved through millions of years of evolution.

What Gives Shape to Brain Maps and Is Created by Brain Maps?

These neural networks and firing patterns are commonly called brain maps. Brain maps correspond to everything in experience, from wiggling your toes to complex patterns of mental and emotional growth as well as illness. Brain maps are both shaped by and creators of habit, and can be radically transformed by a range of conditions including love and trauma. From this perspective, positive psychology exercises work when they alter the brain’s structure and functioning

Wilder Penfield

Behavior, actions, memory, and even abstract concepts correlate with brain maps. Those networks that are used again and become dominant, enhancing or inhibiting positive change and growth. Wilder Penfield pioneered brain mapping and discovered maps corresponding to every part of the body, as well as networks containing vivid, long-lost childhood memories and sensory impressions. Though different areas of the brain are highly specialized, the form and function of its networks are dynamic.

Researchers have found that the brain responds “plastically” to change by constantly reorganizing these brain maps. Learning new skills means creating new networks, usually by engaging and adapting existing networks and sometimes by creating new neurons. As such, the human brain is always able to change, but this plasticity is competitive; strongly reinforced maps take up space with larger neurons in faster connective networks. That is why practice makes perfect and a bad habit is hard to break.

Norman Doidge proposes that brain reorganizes itself  in three basic ways, related to how one perceives the world, acts in the world, and thinking about or imagines the world. He has also described how positive emotions and experiences play an important role in neurogenesis and neuroplasticity. There is clearly great potential for interdisciplinary research in neuroscience and positive psychology, and for integrated models of positive intervention.

For He’s a Jolly Good . . . Habit

For instance, I like to think of character strengths as old good habits–correlating to strong neural networks that can be engaged for new learning and reinforced with practice. Christopher Peterson defines character strengths as the psychological ingredients, processes, or mechanisms that define human virtues. Those might just correlate with  well-traveled maps in the virtuous mind. Research has shown that using your signature strengths in new ways can be one of the most effective positive psychology exercises, increasing happiness and decreasing depressive symptoms for six months following just one week of practice. Future research may show that strengths-based approaches to perceiving the world, acting in the world, and thinking in the world can “positively” change the structure of your brain.

Images: Electrical Neuron, Penfield

Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books.

Kandel, E. R. (2007). The new science of mind. In F. Bloom (Ed.), Best of the brain Scientific American, 68-75.

Peterson, C. & Seligman, M.E.P. (2004). Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. Oxford University Press.

Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions, Seligman, Steen, Park, & Peterson, 2005

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By Timothy T.C. So

‘To be good, we must do good; and by doing good we take a sure means of being good, as the use and exercise of the muscles increase their power.’ Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894)

With the recent economic turmoil in the world, what is the best way to respond to a topsy-turvy world? (Some PPND suggestions here, here, here, here and here).  Aren Cohen writes in her article “Habit Forming, Even in Tough Times” about the benefits of keeping to routine for sanity during extreme times.

Ben Franklin would have agreed – especially where virtues are concerned. As a leading writer and printer, politician, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman and diplomat, Franklin attributed his success and happiness to only one thing – developing virtues. Especially so in tough times.  In his autobiography, Ben Franklin quotes Aristotle:

“The moral virtues, then, are produced in us neither by nature nor against nature. Nature, indeed, prepares in us the ground for their reception, but their complete formation is the product of habit.”

Why did Franklin care about habits and virtues?  Early in his career, Franklin had listed 13 characteristic ethics that he wanted to attain, and behaviors compatible with each virtue. He focused on a particular virtue and set of behaviors each week, kept track of his behaviors in a small chart (see image) and made a black mark in the chart if he had not abided by that virtue during the week. As time went by, he found that there were fewer and fewer black marks on the table.

The Fast Track to Growing Virtues?

In every bookstore during the upcoming holiday season, you will likely notice that the self-help section is blossoming and seems to almost call out to passers-by: teasing about fast solutions and fast skills to help people achieve happiness.  In this modern and result-oriented society today - both Eastern and Western - fast tracks or skills such as impression management tactics and personal marketing strategies from the West, or “mind games” (計謀學) and “thick face black heart” (厚黑學) from the East have indeed become the panacea to many people.  Are we right to aim for shortcuts and a fast track?

There Is No Fast Track

Tal Ben-Shahar, the author of Happier and Stephen R. Covey, the author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and still many others, have made an argument that a fast-track self-help book may be effective in the short run, yet most such books could only help cure the symptoms and are not able to sustain a successful or happy life. What, then, would bring about a genuinely happy and flourishing life?

Introducing Slow Change

Yes, changing the surface level may not be enough.  For example, there is a growing slow food movement of savoring, enjoyment, and purposeful simplicity.  In some domains, we are returning to slow and steady results that shape our core - our habits, behaviors, attitudes, and perceptions to the world.  Virtues (the Latin word ‘virtus’, means ‘moral excellence’) concerns the kinds of ethics and morals an individual or community finds desirable and appropriate. No matter in the East or West, from Aristotle to Confucius, we share similar virtues like courage, temperance, generosity, self-control, honest, sociability, modesty, fairness, and justice. (Ivanhoe, 2000; Rorty, 1992)

The Honest Method for Growing Virtues

You may have doubts on the importance of the 13 characteristic cthics listed by Franklin, or even consider his practices lack of scientific support. Decades later, however, Franklin’s practices are supported by the ideas of strengths from Positive Psychology. In his book Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman proposes that constantly utilizing our virtues in the main areas of our lives will bring us gratification and authentic happiness. This is supported by Nansook Park, Christopher Peterson and Seligman in 2004 research that shows that having higher scores on VIA character strengths was associated with greater life satisfaction for 21 of 24 strengths. The idea of focusing on positive qualities is appealing as it grants us hope and optimism. To the extent that interventions strive to build life satisfaction, the virtues most robustly associated with well–being might be considered prime targets.  (For the full paper of Park, Peterson and Seligman (2004), please click here)  Slow and steast virtues development may yet win the race.

Which Way is Your Way?

We all learned about virtues and ethics from kindergarten on: we have all heard about the story of little George Washington chopping down his father’s cherry tree and his famous line of honesty, “I cannot tell a lie, I did it with my little hatchet,”  we have also read the story of the hare and the tortoise from Aesop’s Fables and learned to be hardworking. Yet simply learning about these virtues and ethics is far from developing and realizing them.  As we grow up and are clearer about the cruelty in reality, we could often take what we have learned for granted. As a result these virtues and ethics are regarded as fabled and antiquated.

At present, we have a systemic and evidence-based approach for everyone to develop their virtues (more exercises to develop strengths and virtues are here). Now it is time to take action: to be good and do good by developing our natural virtues and ethics, and achieve a more positive and flourishing life; or we stay naive and lazy sitting and waiting for one-day magic?

Reference:

Ben-Shahar, T. (2007). Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment. McGraw-Hill Professional

Covey, S. R. (2004). 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Simon & Schuster Ltd; 15th Anniversary Edition

Franklin, B. (1996) The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. Dover Publications Inc.; New edition

Ivanhoe, P. J. (2000) Confucian Moral Self Cultivation. Hackett Publishing Co, Inc; 2nd Revised edition

Rorty, R. (1992) Essays on Aristotle’s “Ethics” (Philosophical Traditions). University of California Press

Seligman, M. E. P. (2003) Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realise Your Potential for Lasting Fulfilment. Nicholas Brealey Publishing Ltd

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