Thank you for your questions. I think it is very hard to tap into the difference between seeking and searching, but there are some guidelines. The first is that you need the person to be able to differentiate between intrinsic and extrinstic motivation. Am I doing this because I want to or am I doing this because I think I should (because of social mores)? Additionally, I think it is important to get people to voice their commitment to what they are looking for. If it is a causal, “oh yeah, I would like to look into that,” it is a search, not a seek. An investigation of the intrinstic helps illuminate the passions. Seeking is attached to passion. To help people seek you need to ask them questions about the things that make them passionate, their fears surrounding their passions and the things that drive them towards their passion. If they cannot confirm that they are passionate about their project, they are probably just still searching.

I hope that helps.
Aren

Thanks for your article on searchers vs seekers. You’ve very articulately explained a distinction that I’ve sensed but couldn’t quite articulate in my own mind!!! In relation to a searcher, you suggested that “they need to find the thing that will provide motivation and propel them forward. This will require a more in-depth examination of values and wants, learning what makes the person tick and what gives his life meaning”. I’m wondering if you could suggest some practical questions/approaches for helping a coaching client to do this. Thanks!

How is it that you are able to succinctly clarify the difference between the two different kinds of “looking” that I have been struggling with most of my life? Wow. Thank you for that. Defining the two different kinds of “looking” and how to approach them makes so much sense. Seeking is knowing the path you want to be on, though you may not know the outcome, you welcome it. Searching is not being clear on either the path or the goal, and more importantly seems to lack clarity in the heart about our own desires.

Did I describe them clearly? I want to be accurate and clear with myself because I want to be a seeker, man!!

Thanks for the article!
Nick

Thanks for your comment. The notion of experience is a great question. I suppose on the one hand without experience we are more likely to be searching than seeking because we have less information. Yet I know lots of people who set goals and make decisions with little experience and information. I think we have to be careful about “holding ourselves up” because we have less than complete information or experience. We are never going to have all the answers, so sometimes we just have to take the risk, set our goals and go for them. Waiting just leaves us in a holding pattern which does not allow us to achieve all we are capable of.

I think about it in the case of this friend of mine. He has no experience of life in an Ashram, but he has set this goal and gone for it. Also, think about people who get engaged. They certainly do not have all the information about what the future will bring with their partner, but they are willing to take the risk and set the goal of getting married and forging a life together—- all with a lack of experience.

So, I encourage you to shift your mindset from searcher to seeker. Just because you don’t have experience doesn’t mean that you can’t set real and tangible goals. Decide what you want to do on this stage of your journey and go for it. The self-efficacy of this process is sure to energize you.

Thanks again for your comment. Keep reading and being positive!
Aren