Yep names are important. i just hate it when people pronounce my name wrong. it’s okay if they forget it but when they don’t take the effort to say it right time after time, I just think they are insincere. definitely not high quality connection there.

Aside: I know some people (esp Chinese) take great pains in selecting auspicious names for their kids as they represent their hopes and aspirations for their offspring. On the other hand, the superstitious give awful nicknames like ‘pig’ or ‘cow’ to fool jealous spirits who might prey on their precious ones.

To add to your wonderful classroom example and Kathryn’s hallway ‘I see you’, I like to say the name of the persons who are serving me at stores, restaurants, airlines, etc - anyone who wears a name tag! Or even call centre staff who always announce their names. I can ’see’ them relax and break into smiles as we talk. Ends in great service everytime and I always feel happy like I reached out and touched a real person for a moment.

Thanks for raising such an important oft taken for granted everyday psotive intervention.

Best,
Sulynn

John

This article shows another way to show that other people matter. The positive salutation is even powerful when the person doing it has just met you. I attended a poetry reading this summer where an ice breaker activity asked us to introduce ourselves to the person sitting to our right. It went around the circle beginning with the speaker. That person on the right responded by shaking our hands–both of them–and repeating our name and saying anything else they wanted to. The woman who shook my hands looked right into my eyes and said, “I see you, Sherri,” and I can still feel the warmth that filled my chest and throat when she did. As teachers we have the chance to connect with students in ways that extend beyond the content. Thanks for writing about this positive intervention (and tying in Jim Croce!).

In Lauren Van der Post’s wonderful novel, A Story Like the Wind, “I see you!” is an electric greeting commonly used between the Matebele in southern Africa. I think of it often as I walk the halls at work and when possible greet people by name. It makes a difference - particularly since I have a pretty high rank and so my greetings somehow represent being recognized by the collective leadership. To be seen! What a gift. What a “high quality connection” in Jane Dutton’s words.

In many of my classes growing up, I felt like part of an aggregate — the class. The teachers I still remember are the ones that saw me both as an individual AND as a member of the class. I still write to one of them several times a year, after a long number of years.

Great example, and I love the mental picture of you all touching elbows during flu season.

Kathryn

Like Giselle, I find it hard to remember names although I get pretty peeved when other people pronounce my name inaccurately. Strangely, if you forget my name, that’s ok. I put myself in the other person’s shoes and forgive him our common shortcoming. When I analysed why I suffer such chagrin when someone mispronounces my name, I discovered that I tend to feel that the person is not sincere and does not care enough to do it right. Whereas, on my part, I am careful about getting someone’s name right, spelling it out, visualizing the word and then tentatively try it out, often checking with the name-bearer for particular accents or intonation. So it is true that we judge other people’s actions by our own intentions.

I love what you do with the students, I try to do the same with store assistants, restaurant waiters or anyone with a name badge too. Never fails to get me great service often with a smile.