Here are my (gut) thoughts about these particular mechanisms.

* altruism–this is great if say, love, kindness and generosity are important character strengths for a person, but if not, practicing altruism might feel phony.

* sublimation–I love this one, too, since it has soooo many possibilities. According to www.dictionary.com, in psychology this means “to divert the energy of a sexual or other biological impulse from its immediate goal to one of a more acceptable social, moral, or aesthetic nature or use.” This seems connected to self-regulation and gives one an opportunity to use their powers for good. Aristotle and William James would like it, too.

* suppression–I’d rather see sublimation (it is more positively directed) than this, since suppression (and its cousin repression) can prevent unwanted behavior, but are not necessarily a positive redirection.

* humor–Here is a mish-mash of aphorisms: laughter is the best medicine, as long as they are laughing with you, not at you. And then there is Bert, or Mary Poppins fame: “I love to laugh!” And…it is a transcendent strength. Think about how much of a relief it is to make a catastrophizing list and realize how unlikely it is…and laugh!

* anticipation–A question for you: Are forward-thinkers likely to be self-regulated goal-setters?

So the answer to your question(s) is that mechanisms are likely synergistic. I love synergy:-)

Cheers,
Sherri

I wasn’t sure of my own thoughts when I asked you, and I think I’d have to agree with you about exercise - it’s a positive behavior as opposed to choice. I hesitate because it is also so much a daily choice in a sense. (Digression: But perhaps the healthier way to look at exercise is as a ritual - like brushing your teeth, like having a cup of tea before bed - and not as a daily “should I or shouldn’t I?)

Sherri, what I meant by which of the defenses - and I should have said this more clearly - is which of the following that George writes about do you think are especially valuable:
* altruism
* sublimation
* suppression
* humor
* anticipation

I was especially interested in sublimation since before reading “Aging Well,” I had not imagined that something like coping with an immediate bad event by replacing it with other activities and distractions could be a very healthy attitude. But, you don’t have to choose a favorite of these mechanisms either! Just wanted your thoughts.

Best,
S.

Vaillant speaks of “mature” and “adaptive” coping mechanisms. I don’t think that a choice is the same as a behavior. We can make good choices, but if we do not back them up with efficacious behavior repeated over time, the choice may not bear fruit. Your exercise question fits in here, so I’d say “behavior matters.” William James’ attention, habit, and will come to mind.

The other “protective” elements are not coping mechanisms per se, but life-long behaviors. As we age, being connected has increasingly valuable effects. Of the others,

• Never smoking or stopping young
• Adaptive coping (turning lemons into lemonade)
• No alcohol abuse
• A stable marriage
• 12+ years of education
• Not being overweight/getting some regular exercise
…I think that some clearly benefit everyone (healthy behaviors), another builds self-efficacy and resilience (adaptive coping), one develops Chris Peterson’s “other-people-matter” (stable marriage), and another promotes personal growth (education). Since I am not a philosopher, I do not like questions about who gets thrown out of the boat, so I’d like to place my vote for “synergistic” interventions and protective elements.

Sherri

That’s neat how you combined Vaillant’s four personal qualities of people with Seligman and Peterson’s VIA strengths.

Sherri, which of George Vaillant’s coping mechanisms do you most believe in as key to a good life?

And if you think about exercise, would you put that under “your choices matter” or “you behavior matters”?

Thanks much!
S.