Comments on: Determination, Resilience or Foolhardiness?

By: Sulynn

Sulynn — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 13:38:46 +0000

Thank you Kathryn, Senia, David, Jeff, & CoertVisser. Maybe it simply boils down to finding engagement (whether pleasure or flow), meaning and purpose in our pursuit on the personal front, and remembering that other people matter. And in the end, whether I can live with my decision to chase the dream or give it up depends on its intrinsic value to me. If I don’t mind, it doesn’t matter Have a great month!

By: Coert Visser

Coert Visser — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 09:29:13 +0000

Hi Sulynn,
Thanks for your interesting article. I like the different perspectives you show on this topic. I think one of the reasons we admire people who have persisted so much is that we will never know FOR SURE whether we will be acknowledged for our persistence and whether it will pay off in the end. Persistent people like Edison and have shown their commitment and taken the chance despite this fact. Whether there will be external rewards will remain uncertain but I bet there will be an interinsic reward in the form of gratification. I hope more people on this website will write about this topic.

By: Jeff Dustin

Jeff Dustin — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 14:00:46 +0000

Sulynn,

Yes, when do we quit and when to persevere?

I suspect that this is a very subjective Q & A that is so bound to context that only a rough guideline can apply broadly to differing circumstances. Its an art in other words, not so much a science.

That being said, I think of the movie The Devil Wears Prada. There was a book review of the same on Reflectivehappiness.com Marty’s old site. A Cost Benefit Analysis could help determine what is the kill point of a project. When do you throw in the towel? Yet again, judgment is the crucial factor. You have to make choices about whether one factor is more important than another. Is comfort more valuable than say, achievement while pursuing specific goal?

If a child was inside a burning building and you could save him or her, I don’t think there would be a lot of cerebral cognition going on, you’d just run in and snatch him or her up and dash out.

Life has lots of less important goals that make value judgments trickier. Do I buy locally grown produce? Should I wear organics only? Do I donate to XY or Z charity? Should I date her? On and on these less critical but still somewhat important decisions need judgment. The Paradox of Choice really sums up the toughness of the myriad decisions. Sometimes its best to flip a coin, because in the long run, how do you know what outcomes will occur. Predicting is a shaky shaky art.

By: Oplossingsgerichtmanagement » Blog Archive » Hoe weet je of je op de goede weg bent?

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 06:25:54 +0000

[…] Hoe weet je of je op de goede weg bent? “Thomas Edison practised 9,999 times to succeed! How did he know that he would succeed? Was it his optimism or his confidence? Who would try doing something 10,000 times?” document.write(”); Dit citaat komt uit dit artikel. Ik vind dit een interessant thema. Hoe weet je of je op een goede manier volhardend bent en gewoon aan het doen bent wat nodig is om iets tot een succes te maken of een onmogelijke droom aan het najagen bent of in een doodlopende straat aan het rennen bent? 3 Sep 2007 - 7:25, door: Coert Visser […]

By: David [at] SlowDownFast.com

David [at] SlowDownFast.com — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 23:42:20 +0000

Excellent post. Great job bringing several points together and laying things out.

For me, resilience often comes down to 3 things (in addition to knowing when to let go): Patience, Endurance, and Persistence.

By: Senia

Senia — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 21:40:11 +0000

Sulynn, this is a cool article. I read it as being about all the q’s from positive psychology that can be helpful to ask ourselves. I think one of the most powerful concepts from pos psych is what Doug wrote about here: http://pos-psych.com/news/doug-turner/20070215106 (i.e. what do you choose to focus on?)

Same with your questions. They’re great because it’s about “what do we choose to focus on?” Thanks, Sulynn!

Senia

By: Kathryn Britton

Kathryn Britton — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 20:56:51 +0000

Sulynn,

What an interesting way of putting the question! Here are a few random thoughts on the matter:

The only thing that differentiates Thomas Edison from the people who practiced 9,999 times and did not become famous is the outcome. You can’t know outcome ahead of time, so you just can’t know whether you’ll be Thomas Edison or a wannabe. So there needs to be something worthwhile in the doing and becoming, not just the achievement.

When I have a bad gremlin attack, I think of Margaret’s words, “Send that gremlin out on an errand.” That brings up another means of dealing with uncertainty, that is, humor. Laugh heartily and often. There is an element of absurdity in all of us.

In the long run, we are all dead, but we have shaped the lives of the people around us who shape the lives of people around them who shape … isn’t it to the 7th generation? But once again, we can’t know all those outcomes. We have lots of chances to do unnamed good deeds if you think of all the people we can affect and all the people they can affect.

Perhaps some of the goals need to be in terms of “Being” and not “Doing.” I’ve been thinking about this lately - so I’ll point you to a couple of things I’ve posted on my blog on the subject:

http://theanocoaching.wordpress.com/2007/07/13/meaning-through-being/
http://theanocoaching.wordpress.com/2007/08/22/a-quilt-with-stories/

If you drop in, I’d love to get a comment. I’m getting readers but not many commenters so far.

Cheers,
Kathryn